Name: Lindsay Price
Occupation: Assistant Buyer
Can’t Live Without: Ice Cream (Specifically Grater’s Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip)
Loves: The Show Friends, hence the title of this blog
Fun Fact: Her hair was straight growing up and now it’s basically a perm.
Obsessed With: George W. Bush
YOU GUYS. This post is so freaking good, I bumped posting it up a week early. Lindsay is one of my main people here in Dallas, she is my community group (small group) along with Chandler Mann and Jennifer Abohosh. Unintentionally these three are the first to be featured in the collective which has turned out to be so sweet. Anyways, back to Lindsay. Linds, is someone who is up for anything anytime, an Ohio State enthusiast x100000 (she BLEEDS Buckeyes), and a crime podcast addict (along with myself, we live for murder mysteries, it’s a problem but I promise we aren’t crazy).
If I had to describe Lindsay in one word it would be LOYAL. This girl is loyal to her core, the best personal cheerleader, and bold beyond belief. Although we only met earlier this year, it feels like we have been friends for decades. She has a fierce faith in the Lord, and handles trials with a grace and strength I admire so much. Lindsay’s story in singleness is stinkin so good, so let’s get to it!
"You know those girls who, with every new school year they had a new boyfriend, even starting in like 3rd grade and even to this day, always seem to be in a relationship? The girls who seemed to never have to try at all to get a date for this function or that because there were always lines of guys following them wherever they went? Yeah, I was so not one of those girls.
I am 26 years old, and I’ve never had a boyfriend. There, I said it. That’s incredibly intimidating/slightly embarrassing/nerve wracking to say to the internet where we put our best face on display 24/7, but this is me being real, because this is my life.
“I don’t get it, you’re such a catch!”
“Wait, you mean, never??”
“Wow, that’s so cool! I wish I had done that. Good for you for waiting!”
“Oh well, don’t worry, your time will come! God has a plan!”
These are a few of my favorite responses people have when they hear that I haven’t had a boyfriend. The one where people compliment me for waiting makes me a little uncomfortable because it’s not like I’m taking this stand to not date anyone until such and such a time to focus on myself or am against it entirely, it’s just never happened… I know it’s coming from a good place, but sometimes it’s hard to not take it like what they really want to say is “What’s wrong with you?” Because, that’s the question that goes through my mind all the time.
At least, it used to.
“What’s wrong with me?” What a loaded question that begins and ends in lies from Satan.
I’ve been the “almost” girl a few times. Where it would like my bad luck with relationships would end, but then it’s over just as quickly as it started. Whatever it was. I would be “talking” to a guy and it seemed to be going well then all of the sudden, he was over it or nothing would come of it. The reasons why varied and some I still don’t know, but in my mind, I was the common denominator in all these situations, so it was clearly me. I was obviously doing something wrong. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not funny or smart enough. I’m too awkward. I’m not outgoing enough, and about a million other of these thoughts roll through my head.
We are not promised marriage and that’s what scares me. Like our friend Chandler Mann talked about in her post a while back (if you haven’t read it, I suggest you do so right now, seriously, so good) society has made it seem that singleness is second best. It’s like our whole lives we are racing for the marriage finish line, and God forbid you don’t cross it. Why is that? Why do we feel like we are black sheep in the midst of all these happy, paired up sheep? No really, I’m asking… because I have no idea why.
For me, I think it boils down to, not being alone, but not being good enough.
My Discipleship group just finished going through Lysa TerKeurst’s “Finding I am” study and one of the days (that I lead ironically enough) was titled “I’m not good enough” which obviously peaked my interest. She talks about not getting invited to a party and how much that hurt and made her feel like she wasn’t good enough to be part of the group. Then she had the realization that the term “good enough” is not any good at all. We wouldn’t want people to say that we’re good enough at our job or a good enough friend or a good enough partner in a relationship. No, so often we try to take matters into our own hands and forget that God has our backs. Lysa makes a great point “With Jesus, we are better than good enough because He steps in and fulfills what we cannot do on our own.” So why am I still consumed with being accepted by everyone around me, especially guys?
Most of the time, my season of singleness doesn’t really bother me. I’m a very independent person who, while I love to hangout and be in the mix with my friends and go out and try new things, I feel like I thrive being by myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m the first one on and last to leave the dance floor, I’m always up for trying new restaurants on Friday nights and would be at Ohio Stadium every home game tailgating with my friends and cheering on the Bucks if I could. So, while it would be an added bonus to have someone to do all the things with like have as a plus one at all of the weddings that keep coming, go to the state fair with when all my friends have already gone or even just to watch The Walking Dead with on Sunday nights (best show on television, don’t even try, I’m looking at you GOT fans), being in a relationship would be a plus, not a must for me right now.
But that’s not to say the weight of longtime singleness doesn’t get to me, because it does. Being single is HARD sometimes and it bothers me that I let it affect me – make me doubt myself. What bothers me more often than I’d like to admit is the FOMO I get from never having dated. I get scared into thinking that if it hasn’t happened by now, the chances are just going to keep getting slimmer and slimmer. It’s hard for me to not compare myself to my friends, coworkers, family and fictional characters in books and movies and not feel embarrassed about it or not good enough. Especially living in the south, you are very much in the minority to be in your late 20’s and not be in a relationship. Not to mention that you can’t seem to make it past a first date (however bad it is, and trust me, I have some great bad first date stories). It makes me feel as though I’m wayyyy behind in life when everyone around me is having major success in their careers, getting married, having babies, buying houses etc. etc. etc.
For instance, one of my best friends just got engaged!! I had known about the plan for a long time and even helped her boyfriend decide on the ring and did my best to throw her off for when the big day was coming. The week leading up to the proposal, I couldn’t stop talking about it (I’m in Dallas and she’s in Columbus so it’s fine, I was excited not stupid), I was just too happy that it was finally happening! Thankfully, I was in town for a baby shower on the day of the proposal and when someone asked me what I was doing the rest of the day and I responded that I was going to celebrate one of my best friends getting engaged, they asked with a serious look of pity, “Aw, how does that make you feel? Is that hard for you?” Whoa… Well dang it wasn’t until you just said something!!
Jk, jk. But, still.
I’m used to stuff like this. I have become good at laughing it off or coming back with a sassy saying about how no guy could keep up with me anyway, blah, blah, blah. But what I wish I said is, “The Lord has a plan and it’s better than mine.” Because that’s what I need to remind myself every day.
I’ve got a new prayer. After first moving to Dallas, my prayer was for community. Moving to a new city is HARD especially one as big as Dallas and I knew all too well the direction that this move could have gone if I didn’t find one. But the Lord totally provided! He gave me some months of adjustment, but then He came through in a big way and now I have some of the best community that I’ve had. After I rejoiced in this answer to prayer, I thought about what my next heartfelt prayer would be. There was a small thought to now pray for a relationship. I’ve put in my time in the single department and maybe now it’s my turn! But that was my selfish flesh talking and also a lie. We don’t deserve anything, including relationships.
No, my new prayer is actually one I’m stealing from a family friend. A friend who, at his rehearsal dinner, made a toast about his long time singleness after a relationship that didn’t work out. He prayed that no matter what, the Lord would sustain him. And that is my new prayer, that the Lord sustains me. No matter what happens in singleness, and life in general, I pray that I trust in Him and that the Lord will completely fill me. The dictionary defines sustain as “strengthen or support physically or mentally”. Other words for sustain are comfort, help, assist, encourage, carry, support, hearten. I need this every day in every aspect of my life. But especially when my fear of not being good enough for a relationship comes to the forefront of my mind. Because when I’m focusing on the negative, I miss out on what the Lord is doing for me in other ways. He is encouraging, assisting and supporting us daily, and so often we miss it because we are focusing on ourselves and what we have or don’t have. In my case, a relationship.
So just because I’ve never dated, doesn’t mean that I’m not good enough. It’s just giving more and more opportunity for God to fully sustain me, and more importantly, allow myself to trust that He will no matter what. He doesn’t have to provide me with a relationship and at 26 years old, there is no sense in just sitting around waiting on one. So, I’ll just be here, cheering on my Buckeyes, getting invited to weddings to be the life of the dance floor and watching The Walking Dead by myself on Sunday nights so no one has to see how into it I am."
Yeah, told you this was amazing. I hope you are encouraged by her story in singleness, and challenged to make your prayer for the Lord alone to sustain you. "Surely God is my help; The Lord is the one who sustains me." - Psalm 54:4. Until next week friends!