You are worth the risk. Dating is worth the risk. Being alone is worth the risk. “Worth the risk” is a phrase my friends and I have been talking about a lot lately.
Being secure and confident while feeling victorious in singleness has been where I’ve been at these past two years and for that, I’m so thankful. But earlier this summer I felt like I spiraled into insecurity. Like, really insecure. Lies and thoughts came into my head and I couldn’t get them out. It felt like I had taken 5 billion steps back. It was like I had forgotten about my answered prayer in what it meant to be confident, comfortable, CONTENT in where God had me.
Because I have been in a season of contentment and pursuing some dreams and passions of mine (more on that very soon!) You may have noticed I haven’t written much. I felt like I didn’t have much to say. I felt like by saying I’m comfortable in singleness people wouldn’t want to read that. I know it can be annoying when you’re struggling with something and someone else says they are so happy with that same struggle. I didn’t want to be that person. But I have always wanted to be transparent, so that’s what I”m doing now. For the past year or so being content is truly the best way I can describe how I’ve felt. What does this have to do with being “worth the risk?” Let me explain:
1. Praying for God’s Will Over Your Own Desires Is Worth The Risk: This is where it began. Through one of my tougher breakups, eventually, I came to a place where I prayed “Lord I want to desire what YOU desire for me. If this relationship is not it, then that is not what I want. Was that easy? 100% no! And I wasn’t ready to do that for a long time, but when I was ready to accept that His plans were probably different than my own in that, did he answer my prayer right away either? No, but eventually he did. And I don’t take that for granted. He didn’t answer the way I thought he would (married, few kids before 30 meeting that guy soon after graduation or whatever.. update I turn 29 this year so…lol) But how he did answer was more than I could have ever asked for. He answered with giving me the sweetest and MOST FUN community, girlfriends who are walking through singleness with me and that has helped immensely with being content where he has me! And I am grateful. These past few years have been the actual most fun full of friends, trips, and growing in faith in a way I could have never known. Praying for God’s will over your own desire is scary bc he probably has a different plan for you, I know that. But I promise it is worth the risk. Time and time again he reminds his ways are better than ours. (Read: Isaiah 55:8-9, Ephesians 3:20-21)
2. You’re Not Worth The Risk Is a Lie: “You’re not worth the risk” is the lie I had been believing for the past few weeks and something I’m still wrestling with if I’m being honest. Without going into too many details I’ve been presented with opportunities and been in situations that have made me realize the desire I do have to be married and be in a relationship. Like I mentioned before, the past year I was ok without (and sometimes wondering if I ever wanted it - it was spooky) Some of these opportunities I thought would happen, have not happened. There have been conversations that have caused me to think I’m not worth the risk. “I’m not worth the risk to date in Dallas because I want to end up in California” “I’m not worth the risk because I”m too confident”, I’m not worth the risk because I’m not currently working in ministry anymore and no I don’t think I want to go back in full-time ministry - I’m sorry that’s so hard to comprehend!( for real people have been shocked by this and I’m sorry but real-world jobs are ministry too!) “I'm not worth the risk because I see other girls getting more attention than me so of course, I’m not” , “I’m not worth the risk because I don’t look a certain way or act a certain way” I mean the list goes on. Have you believed these lies too? I bet I’m not alone. But if I believe these lies I don’t believe God’s plan is better than mine, that he didn’t make me, create me uniquely physically and mentally (what we dream about, what we want to do with our lives, and what we are passionate about is unique and beautiful too!) Believing “I”m not worth the risk” is not believing God made me in his image and the way he intended me to be. (Read Psalm 139 and Jeremiah 1:5)
3. Believing Dating Is not Worth The Risk is a Lie: This one is short but simple, dating often feels so daunting to me - “does he like me, do I like him?” The DRAMA, gosh I’d just rather not deal and be happy with my solo bedtime routine where I don’t have to share a bathroom or a bed lol. But unfortunately, in order to get married, we have to date. SO dating HAS to be worth the risk. Have you been too prideful to try a dating app? I encourage you to do it, have you stayed home instead of met friends for a happy hour with new people? I encourage you to go. Take a risk, get out of your comfort zone, put yourself out there. (I’m preaching to myself here too!) And on the same breath, dating is worth the risk in the sense that you do not need to know if you want to marry someone before you go on a date or after the first date (or first 10!) THAT’S WHY WE DATE! For more notes on dating, I actually BEG YOU to read this article, SO convicting for guys and girls.
While I”m still fighting these lies of being worth the risk, getting in God’s word and talking about it has helped immensely. I hope this related to someone. That I’m not alone. I”m sorry I’ve been so MIA I hope not to be. I will write soon about some of the reasons I have been. But I’ve been overall content, busy, happy and for that I am grateful. July took a toll on my confidence but I don’t doubt god’s goodness in my life. I refuse to dwell on lies because I have seen God answer my prayers. When remembering these answered prayers, I remember His goodness. What lies are you believing and what answered prayers in your life can you combat that with?