This week I originally wanted to talk about the importance of community in your single season, and really, in all seasons. But as summer came to a close and I approached the 1 month anniversary of this blog, I kept thinking about what an incredible summer in singleness I had.
Maybe for some of you this is your first summer as a single girl, or singleness came abruptly this summer following major heartache, or maybe you are thinking, “Honey, I’ve been single my whole life, so a summer of singleness is no new thing for me.” Personally, It's been four years since I've dated anyone, so a summer of singleness isn’t necessarily “new” for me . But I feel like this summer in particular, my confidence in singleness outweighed my insecurities in singleness. So, I instead wanted to write about 3 things that helped my confidence win over insecurities during this “single” summer.
I Dreamed With My Team
If you're like me, you make some sort of goal or list of things you want to accomplish throughout the year. For some reason, it seems like these lists and goals are more adventurous during the beginning of the new year or summer. I think summer gives us a new spring to our step - the sun is shining, the days are longer, and even though most of us don’t have summer break anymore, we still get in the mindset that we have more time than usual. I have been wanting to start this blog for the past two years , and this summer is when I finally decided to do it. A major reason that got me to do it was “my people”. I shared this dream of Single Society Co with close friends who encouraged me and pushed me to actually do this thing, instead of just dreaming and talking about it. They held me accountable and asked me questions like, “ Have you started writing? What have you written? When are you actually going to do this? " You can even think of questions you want people to ask you, have them keep tabs, and ask them in return what dreams you can help them accomplish. Your goals may be anything from starting a blog to changing your thought process. Maybe this is the summer you really do want to get over that ex . Have your people check in and ask what you’re doing to accomplish that. For me, this project has kept me distracted from unproductive day-dreaming and wishing for a significant other, and instead, kept me busy with a new side project that I love.
Like I mentioned above, it seems like we just have more time in the summer. Our minds go into automatic vacation mode because we grew up with summer vacation. Plan a trip with your family or friends that makes you excited. I think it’s so important to have something to look forward to, especially if you a struggling with something or feel like you’re in a slump of a season. Whether it’s going somewhere new or going to my favorite summer spot, getting somewhere out of my daily routine and city refreshes my soul and always gives me a fresh take on life. It also usually fuels my already full tank of wander lust. It gets me thinking “next time I go here I want to.. and this reminds me I really want to visit___. " These thoughts fill my mind instead of the daily grind , and help me realize I can still have fun traveling even while single . This summer, I was able to go to NYC, San Diego, LA, and finally Bend, the wine country in Oregon, and The Bay Area in California. It was so great to be with family and friends on these trips and out of the normal day-to-day .
Again, take advantage of this “extra” time summer creates for us and take time to be still and rest. Use those extra daylight hours for an extra long quiet time. Sit on your patio and watch the sunset start till finish. Give yourself a weekend where you choose to say no to something and say yes to taking care of yourself. I really wanted to take advantage of this Labor Day weekend and travel somewhere, but my body said no for me. I slept 10 hours one night and have found time to be productive but restful this weekend here in Dallas, and it has been so good.
I may not have all the answers to combating singleness, but these three things really helped me find the beauty in my independence this summer. I hope you can learn or relate from my experience, and together we can keep celebrating the ways God is using us in our singleness.